IMG_7649

Sana’y hindi na lang pinilit pa

Wala ring patutunguhan

Kahit sabihin ko pang mahal kita.

Because this song started everything. Hahahuhu.

Ironically, what’s supposed to make me happy made me feel really bad today.

Advertisements

It is a risk to love.

What if it doesn’t work out?

Ahh, what if it does?

-Peter McWilliams

First day of cyberdetox. </3 I couldn’t be more proud of myself for being so productive today! Yayyy. But the struggle is real to be honest. Lol. But I’m more than willing to finish this cyberdetox so I’ll be patient. πŸ™‚

Note to self: I told you not to put your happiness on other people’s hands.

A friendly reminder, or more like a punch in the gut.

C360_2015-10-31-14-56-44-040

 

I hope you were reminded too.

This is how I remember it- it was a warm night, half past ten o’clock. You called for the very first time and I, though really nervous, picked-up. It was awkward for about a couple of minutes and little by little we started talking like we’ve known each other for our whole lives.

We talked about things and places and people. How they’re all really amazing and how more they could be if we can see them together. Slowly, we started memorizing names and expressions. We let all the stories swallow us whole until we realized that we were never there in the first place.

We talked about mistakes and regrets. How badly we wanted to go back in time and change everything that we can just to avoid the consequences we have to deal with at the present. And as the night deepens, we’ll come to the hurtful truth that certainly there is no going back. No undoing. All you have is now.

The clock ticked, it was midnight. How many midnights have we ignored just to continue being carried away by our imaginations of a beautiful life and a better place? A song nearby continued to play. It says “nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard”. Our eyes grew heavy, mouths grew tired from talking but our minds are wide awake like the sun shining bright at daybreak revealing the golden daylight.

Lastly, heartbreaks.Β Bruises and wounds. How people unknowingly change us in ways we never thought were possible. How we watch our hopes fall, how we take risks and chances and be disappointed in the end. How we concluded that these people, scarred as they were, are still our friends.

We have realized that somewhere inside us are monsters sleeping. How we tried our best to not disturb them and to permanently put them into a slumber forever. How we laughed and argue about thingsΒ we can’t even recall. How we accepted the fact that this is who we are and we’re growing old too fast.

I hate how people leave and how the memories stay. I hate how people leave and how the memories stay. I hate how people leave and how the memories stay.

I was reminded every time my phone would ring. No matter where you are now, I hope you were reminded too.