She Is Not Sad

There’s this girl who keeps on telling herself  “I am not sad.”

Inside her is a broken heart, a story which she can’t tell her friends about. Because she doesn’t want them to say “Are you okay?” and she doesn’t want them to feel dismayed.

“I am not sad.”

She keeps on telling herself.

Even if at night, her tears seem to never run out. Only her pillow can hear her silent screams. Only her blanket wipes her every tear.

“I am not sad.”

She whispers everyday. She keeps on convincing herself that everything’s okay. She puts a smile in her face, practicing the way she would flash them so bright enough for everyone to think that she’s doing great.

“I am not sad.”

These are the only words she can hold onto. So that she can put herself together, and pretend that she had never fallen apart.

“I am not sad.”

She keeps on telling herself. Because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to be glad.

“I am not sad”, she says. She wants to prove to him that she is fine even without his love.

“I am not sad.”

“I am not sad.”

She may be broken now, but I tell you she is not sad.

(c) KC Montegrande, 2013

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