Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Yesterday was a really happy day for me. Guess what? I was able to chat with my crush. *blush* Ahhhh, I really wanted to post this on my other blog but a lot of my acquaintances follow me there and I’m quite shy and not ready to let them read the way I’m feeling.

Never felt like this in years, 3 years to be exact. That’s why I’m like a teenager having a crush for the first time. Can you understand how I feel? It’s like every time I see a picture of him in facebook or every time he appears on my news feed I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart beats fast and somehow I find it hard to breathe.

“What a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than sunshine.” -Aqualung

But seriously, that’s not what I’m supposed to write about. ‘Cause you see this guy that I have a crush on was originally the one who had a crush in me. I saw a video of him with his friends telling them that I’m her girlfriend. Of course, that’s not true but still it made me assume that he liked me. Moreover, my brother-in-law whose a close friend of him told me that I really am his crush. Kaya ayun, nag-assume tuloy ako. At kahit na hindi ko naman talaga siya crush nedevelop ‘yung feelings ko sa kanya. Totoo pala na kapag nalaman mong gusto ka ng isang tao, merong part sa’yo na nagiging interesado din sa kanya madevelop man on hindi yung part na yun into love. 

Now, I’ve tried to get to know him better. I’ve tried texting him but he seldom replies because he’s really not into texting. Well that’s according to him. I’ve also tried chatting with him and it’s nice that he notices me everytime. But my problem is that I am really not sure about the way he feels for me. We were given a chance to bond for like two days because I took a vacation at my sister’s house and I don’t know but he gave me the feeling that he likes me too. He teases me around, make me laugh so much, I can feel that he stares at me too. He tries to catch my attention and he was a perfect gentleman for that two days. He even took me home in his motorcycle even if it means he will get back home at past 12midnight. Oh di ba ang sweet? Sino namang hindi mag-aassume nyan? 

But I don’t know, I also get that feeling that he’s not interested in me anymore. No replies most of the time, he oppose every thing that I say, and most of the times he’s a snob. Again, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because it’s not what I expect form him- from someone who has a crush. I always believed that he should have done some efforts to get to know me better right?

That’s why I’m  left here hanging. Hanging onto something that I don’t even know if it’s real. Should I give up? or should I keep on chasing pavements just to hold on to this feeling?

This makes my heart break and my head ache. </3


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